Hidden Scars

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IMG_9339-2She stops to take a look at herself in the mirror. This moment is different from all the rest. It’s not about making sure her hair is straight or her hips look good in her dress. It’s a moment she takes to look herself in the eyes. As she stands there, her sight becomes blurred, and tears begin to stream down her face. For the first time in years, she’s taken time for something she’s avoided for so very long. She’s recognizing the hidden scars she’s acquired from self-inflicted pain and other forms of abuse. She stands there in a daze trying to get herself together, attempting to recreate her superficial appearance – the only side of her people know. She stands there faced with the sorrow of her soul. She was ready to walk out the door, a night similar to the rest, all dolled up looking her best. A pretty woman, she flaunts a natural beauty and a body that turns heads. Men and women chase after her with sexual thoughts and cravings which only lead to the bed. Intelligence is something she possesses, but she’s to worried about pleasing others by her fleshly poses. Gaining the attention of others comes easy, that’s what she lives for. Not realizing that’s why she’s still empty on the inside of her core. Everyone seems to think she’s got it all, but many don’t realize she’s as fragile as a glass doll. The hidden scars she’s covered up for so long, never allowing them to heal from within. Jumping from guy to guy and sometimes even girls, she’s on a people binge. She hates being alone. She’s looking for a love that many fail to realize isn’t real. Trying to cure the pain with things that only make it worse … late night dancing and sexual romancing. It makes it all go away for only a moment. It’s on to the next to cover up the last. It felt so good in the moments that just passed. Playing it cool as if she’s got it under control, but it hits her every time when they get dressed and roll. Left there bare, no clothes on, the last one told her he loved her but not enough to leave his wife. Facing all these thoughts as she’s looking in the mirror, the pain is getting deeper and deeper; it’s starting to strangle her. Reaching for anything in arms length, not realizing that’s the very thing that has brought her to this state. She’s blue in the face fighting hard to catch her breath, but the air that surrounds her is toxic and leads to death. In these moments, her life flashes before her eyes. She’s realizing that if she continues down this path, she’ll experience an internal demise. She’s trying to live the external life, the life many want to live. Wanting to be noticed is the norm, but many do it in a way that brings lasting harm. It’s so enticing; it pulls us in, until we realize it’s nothing more than an illusion that damages within. She’s so tired of being who she’s not. Attention from others gets old when you realize you’re actually alone. Hidden scars, we all have them. Covering them up will make you die too; it’s only a matter of time before those evil demons start to confront you.

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One thought on “Hidden Scars

  1. Gabby

    Wow! Was the first word that came to mind. That whole script was so inspiring and touching… A lot of us women can relate. Those words were so deep and healing at the same time. Keep up the awesome work. I would love to read more 🙂
    Blessings!!

    Like

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